IWhen it's bad, how do you stop it from becoming worse?

My day, or month, rather has been a nightmore that is snowballing into a catastrophy.

I am completely serious.

I have 3 papers due and all i have all scattered outlines and half a para written for each. I want to write it, I DO. And not just because i have to. But when i stre at the blank word doc (minus the half a para), my mind goes blank.

I feel miserable and i feel like dying.

So i've reverted to my manga reading/ show watching days.

Dad's foul to me all the time and i'm stuffing my face with fatty foods all the the time and i'm just...
URGHHHHHHHHHHHH

am i depressed? not clinically, i don't think.
I'm ok when my mind's preoccupied but when the story stops (miraculously, BIOE is still going strong), when the show stops-i think

FUCK- here i am
back at one

What should i do?

I just wanna stop everything. STOP EVERYTHING and take an honest to God break. Get away and be with firends. Go somewhere new.

I feel like no one understands and also i don't want people to understand. Because i feel like i'm just being whiny and a snob.

I really don't mean.

It's gotten so bad that even Gaga sounds okay to me ears.

DO YOU UNDERSTAND?
please don't judge

Why is it that

I am obsessed with fast food?

Non of taste that great, and always leaves me with this greasy, nasty feeling afterwards. But when Dad came home from Loblaws with frozen pizzas, i desperately wanted to eat it.

Anyway, Dad already planned to cook so i had to deny my craving. Obviously, now i can't wait to get my hands on the fatty pie.

I have just about a million things left to do so i have to go now.

So long!

MyWay25

PS. I don't think I've talked about my Critical Approaches to Literature course yet.


So the next post is longgg overdue.

Internalism VS. Externalism....

I've had Stephen King's "On Writing" playing on my ipod for the entire day and it's surprisingly stimulating.

I say surprisingly because i am not at all familiar with his bodies of work other than that they're mostly in the suspense/ horror genre. As in, the genre i never venture into because i am a coward and get scared easily.

However, I've heard some wonderful reviews about this volume and I'm not one to turn down a good guide to writing. Besides, the man has published dozens of bestselling novels---there must be something he is doing right.

Today was sort of a blah day. Although i did get to re-read Hedwig (SO GOOD---only, it's way too short! I want moreeee) and pick an essay question, i am far behind schedule. So tonight, i must:

-FINISH READING FREAKING HUME!!
-TENTATIVE THESIS FOR K&R ESSAY
-watch Chuno... because it's fun and relaxing

So long!

MyWay25

MUST STOP PROCRASINATING!!!

I have it so bad, that i youtubed freaking BoA lives.

That's right---and you all should know my feelings on her.
Well, you don't ---but you can infer from the "freaking" part, can't you?

I don't hate the girl, FAR from it. She seems sweet and polite--but I can't stand her voice. I think it's more suitable for pop songs because whenever she stretches a note--it sounds really hoarse and...unpleasant. But honestly---I'm not a BoA hater!! I think she's extremely hardworking, dedicated and talented. I mean, the girl can dance!! But most of her music doesn't appeal to me and the ones that do (Winter Love, etc) her voice doesn't do it justice.

Let me just clarify that. She has the vocal ability/ skills to sing well- it's merely that her tone (voice) that really really bugs me. Hopefully I'll grow to like it.

The strange thing is, apparently, most Ayu fans had to adapt to her squeaky voice of pre-I AM era. But I never had to do that. Isn't that strange? I don't know-maybe because i just find it so charming and incredible that Ayu's voice has evolved so much over the years. I personally loved it best live during 05-06 and best recorded 06-07.

Sigh--it's already 7:44 and i still have to add tags for this post. So I'll stop for now.

MyWay25

Burrrr...

Honestly--these New Years Resolutions are insanely difficult to keep.

...especially the now soompi one.

Although it's extremely educational and inspiring to go to school, do readings and write papers--it does tire me out. So soompi is like my daily "relaxing" routine. Nothing gets me out of my "funk" mood better than reading soompi.

Nowadays, i've stopped watching dramas---so at least i've kept my promise in that aspect.

STUFFED!!

I have two sandwiches consectutively and now i've never been more full in my life. I feel like i don't need to eat in another week!

So now I am going to do some work. I have the whole weekend planned out:

SATURDAY
-come up with possible LIT thesis
-finish reaading/noting Hume
-come up with possible K&R thesis
-K&R lecture 7 reading
-Quotations for LIT paper

SUNDAY
-K&R Outline/thesis finalize?
-finalize LIT thesis/outline?
-AST HW

Sigh---just writing that out made me all depressed....until later!

MyWay25

REVEAL...

Strangely enough--i am pretty addictive to Mariah Carey's h.a.t.e.u.

I know, i know... it's such a mainstream tune, and it's MC style post-breakdown. But i find this song really heartfelt. It's been a long long while since i liked anything she's done. I never found her lyrics impressive, so i wasn't even let down by the whole degrading "OMG, I CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT YOU!" theme she always has going on (Contrast to the "OMG, I'M SO HOT YOU CAN'T RESIST ME!" via "Obsessed")

Her airy vocals are pretty sweet, so not extensively edited. But then again, aren't most artists' vocal tracks butchered in the studio?

---Moving on..

Today, i had a hugeee brainwave while i was on the subway home. I have no idea why all my ideas seem to occur to me when i;m on the subway---but all i can say is: thank God I have to do it everyday!! At this rate, I'm sure to fill that 15pg monthly requirement i sat for myself!!

Of course, i can't divulge what those ideas are---but i am REALLY excited to get writing... Let's just say that so far, the latter half of the story is building very nicely.

Anyway, I'm off to do some reading and then I've got to transfer my ideas for BIOE onto my laptop...

MyWay25

Confessions and Giveaways!

So lately, I've been completely preoccupied with shopping. Everywhere i go, i hear about huge sales and it makes me crazy because i am suppose to be SAVING up for my vintage fashion hunt!

So what better way to calm my shopping frenzy than to enter in these fab giveaways?!

#1) Chic Steals chicsteals.blogspot.com
great site if you're looking for designer items at lower prices
alerted me that ShoesGotSole.com is giving away one of these pairs of amazing heels! One is the Fancy Platform Sandal in black (priced at 75$) and the other (my pick of the two) is the gorgeous Blast in Aqua/Black (also a 75$ value)!

TO ENTER:

-go to http://chicsteals.blogspot.com/2010/01/giveaway-shoesgotsolecom.html and comment with your contact info and one of the two heels you love more!
-to up your chances of winning: tweet/ facebook/ blog (like i am) about this giveaway! Just make sure you comment in a SEPARATE POST with your contact info and proof of your promotional efforts!

Sadly, this giveaway is only extended to US/Canadian residents.
Also, it will end at Monday, Jan 18 at 12PM PST---so make sure you enter before then!!

If you win, you will be emailed and asked for your preferred size and shoe by ShoesGotSole.


#2) Fail Safe way to rock those pants!!

This happens to me allllll the time! I often pair heels and a pair of jeans or pants to give the illusion of longer legs. HOWEVER, the back of my jeans often get stuck or tucked into the back of my heels---successfully breaking the illusion. Honestly, you don't want people to know you're "faking" your height, right?

Well, here's the solution: KIX BY KATIE click on link for full details!

TO ENTER:
Go to here and pick one of the medias Katie has been featured in.
-Now, comment here with the name of any one of those medias.
-To up your chances of winning (though this must be done AFTER the above) facebook it, tweet it, blog about it, etc (details on previous link).

THIS GIVEAWAY ENDS ON JAN 24 AND IS OPEN WORLDWIDE!!
---be sure to comment with your email address so you can be contacted if you win.
the winner will be randomly chosen.

#3) CLUTCH THAT GIVEAWAY!

go here to look at the selection and then here to comment on which style you like best (along with email)
-then blog about this giveaway, fb it, tweet it, etc to up your chances of winning!!
This ends on Feb 14!!!

__________________________

OK, I'm beat for the day,

MyWay25

With an hour to spare

What better way to use it than to finally post on my blog?

Sorry I've been absent (but hey, i think I'm still keeping up with the once a week thing pretty well!) school's been hectic (as expected) and since I'm trying to be a better student, I've been taking my readings very seriously.

As in not just read Sparknotes of the books, but the actual text AND take notes!

I must say, it makes going to lectures rather dull, because i know the material pretty well already.

Anyway-it's a good habit, so i shall continue it.

---Mom sent over some clothes from Ruehl. As it is shutting down for good (due to poor sales since it's overpriced), it had this massive sale going on and she managed to snag a few items on a really good deal!

Bliss... I've always loved their stuff---they are so well made! And not at all like the Hollister clothes where the only design is the HUGE logo on all the shirts, coats, skirts, etc. Ruehl sells quality stuff. I'm wearing this checkered flannel shirt right now and !!! it's so softtt i want to live in it! Even mom loved it (actually, she loved the store ever since i introduced her to it last summer) and she's really really picky with quality.

Ahhh, I've just idled away so much time reading soompi. Time for class!

MyWay25

Trying Not to Hope

It's been a few days, hasn't it?

Nothing much has happened: just going to class, doing readings and such.

Recently, I've been more obsessed with fashion than even before. I skimmed through entire threads on soompi for great pics to add to my collection. I'm currently really into loose fitting shirtdresses.

Sigh, everytime i see something i like, i think "I wish i could shed that 10 pounds!"

Truthfully, i am in no way fat. Just normal, average. But being average in weight does not mean you look good in everything you wear. This is exotically frustrating when you see something you want and although it looks great on the hanger, your body doesn't do it justice.

Also, great fashion makes me want to travel so badly! All these stars do travel photoshoots. Honestly, who can resist France, Milan, Prague as backdrop?

I really hope i can do a Europe trip before i finish school.

MyWay25

It's a WRAP!

Recently, I've been lunching on wraps. I had a grilled chicken wrap yesterday and i have a smoked ribs wrap waiting for me in the fridge. Since my resolution to eat better, I've been avoiding fried foods. The wrap consists usually of: lettuce, tomatoes, green peppers, some sort of meat (i try t get the leaner ones---except I've craving for ribs today) and a whole wheat pita.

Also, i forgo my usual soda for an AloeVera drink yesterday. I was quite tired this morning so i got a plain coffee with milk and four sugars. Sigh, this means no coffee for the rest of the week for me--I'll have to rely on tea for tomorrow's night lecture.

I'm enrolled in a new philosophy course: Knowledge and Reality and I'm rather happy about this choice. Some of the material overlaps my Philosophy 100 course but it can't be helped, since the dawn of time, philosophers have pondered the same questions-and for most of the cases, unable to offer adequate answers. This is why i find philosophy so intriguing-the fact that there isn't THE answer, like there is in science and math. I dislike things that are absolutely concrete; there is no room for innovation, no creativity!

Anyway: today's tasks are:

-Locke notes
-K&R notes
-LIT FREAKING DRAFT
-30+ workouttt

THIS WEEK:
-Email prof. Walsh if i still don't get the whole Coherent argument discussed in today's lecture
-AST reading for the week and on
-hedwig play

Sigh, that's a truckload of work ahead of me. I slacked off yesterday because i was so tired. The subway stopped working so i walked 5 blocks in slush to get to the next working subway station. And then, since everyone is congregated at that particular station, there was a TON of people on the tube and it was TRES suffocating.

Anyway, off to work now. I might not blog tomorrow because class ends at 9pm, but we;ll see

MyWay25

PS. Came up with great idea for BIOI on the subway today. YAY!!

Let It Snow! It's about time!!!

Finally.

When i opened the shades this morning, there was a decent layer of white fluffiness that graced the usually muddy front yard. Although it's already 2 months into winter---there hasn't been any real downpour of snow, either wet or dry.

I got everything done that i wanted to yesterday except finish reading Locke. I'm only on chapter 2. But as as there is a 3 hour break between my first and second class, i can do it on campus. I need to have lunch, then visit the college admin office and so i have like an hour left for reading. That should allow me to get at least 3 chapters out of the way.

Today, my tasks after class will be:

-finish reading Locke with notes (2hours)
-START LIT DRAFT!!! DO NOT SLEEP WITHOUT DOING THIS!!
-30 Minutes of exercise at least!
-AST MA (1hour)
-AST reading (1hour)

Oh, and if the line's not outrageous at the bank, shall deposit my iclicker rebate cheque.

Yeah, so I'd better get back to breakfast. Then i have to get dressed and go.

Until later,

MyWay25

Back In the Game

Is it really necessary for one to go through all this within simply ONE lifetime?

Sigh, I'm majorly peeved over some personal matter and it's ruined my day completely. I don't expect to sail through the early years or anything--but this is just too much!!

Anyway, at least so far, I've been good on my resolution not to check various sites before I've done my homework, and not to drink coffee. From now on to de-stress, I'll come here and write about what i did each day and stuff.

I'm rewriting my PHL232 notes. After that, I'll do my astronomy and philosophy readings. In between all of this, i want to reorganize/ finalize (edit) my resolutions. Print them out and stick it in my agenda so it can motivate and remind me of all my promises.

Shall be back,

MyWay25