IWhen it's bad, how do you stop it from becoming worse?

My day, or month, rather has been a nightmore that is snowballing into a catastrophy.

I am completely serious.

I have 3 papers due and all i have all scattered outlines and half a para written for each. I want to write it, I DO. And not just because i have to. But when i stre at the blank word doc (minus the half a para), my mind goes blank.

I feel miserable and i feel like dying.

So i've reverted to my manga reading/ show watching days.

Dad's foul to me all the time and i'm stuffing my face with fatty foods all the the time and i'm just...
URGHHHHHHHHHHHH

am i depressed? not clinically, i don't think.
I'm ok when my mind's preoccupied but when the story stops (miraculously, BIOE is still going strong), when the show stops-i think

FUCK- here i am
back at one

What should i do?

I just wanna stop everything. STOP EVERYTHING and take an honest to God break. Get away and be with firends. Go somewhere new.

I feel like no one understands and also i don't want people to understand. Because i feel like i'm just being whiny and a snob.

I really don't mean.

It's gotten so bad that even Gaga sounds okay to me ears.

DO YOU UNDERSTAND?
please don't judge

Why is it that

I am obsessed with fast food?

Non of taste that great, and always leaves me with this greasy, nasty feeling afterwards. But when Dad came home from Loblaws with frozen pizzas, i desperately wanted to eat it.

Anyway, Dad already planned to cook so i had to deny my craving. Obviously, now i can't wait to get my hands on the fatty pie.

I have just about a million things left to do so i have to go now.

So long!

MyWay25

PS. I don't think I've talked about my Critical Approaches to Literature course yet.


So the next post is longgg overdue.

Internalism VS. Externalism....

I've had Stephen King's "On Writing" playing on my ipod for the entire day and it's surprisingly stimulating.

I say surprisingly because i am not at all familiar with his bodies of work other than that they're mostly in the suspense/ horror genre. As in, the genre i never venture into because i am a coward and get scared easily.

However, I've heard some wonderful reviews about this volume and I'm not one to turn down a good guide to writing. Besides, the man has published dozens of bestselling novels---there must be something he is doing right.

Today was sort of a blah day. Although i did get to re-read Hedwig (SO GOOD---only, it's way too short! I want moreeee) and pick an essay question, i am far behind schedule. So tonight, i must:

-FINISH READING FREAKING HUME!!
-TENTATIVE THESIS FOR K&R ESSAY
-watch Chuno... because it's fun and relaxing

So long!

MyWay25

MUST STOP PROCRASINATING!!!

I have it so bad, that i youtubed freaking BoA lives.

That's right---and you all should know my feelings on her.
Well, you don't ---but you can infer from the "freaking" part, can't you?

I don't hate the girl, FAR from it. She seems sweet and polite--but I can't stand her voice. I think it's more suitable for pop songs because whenever she stretches a note--it sounds really hoarse and...unpleasant. But honestly---I'm not a BoA hater!! I think she's extremely hardworking, dedicated and talented. I mean, the girl can dance!! But most of her music doesn't appeal to me and the ones that do (Winter Love, etc) her voice doesn't do it justice.

Let me just clarify that. She has the vocal ability/ skills to sing well- it's merely that her tone (voice) that really really bugs me. Hopefully I'll grow to like it.

The strange thing is, apparently, most Ayu fans had to adapt to her squeaky voice of pre-I AM era. But I never had to do that. Isn't that strange? I don't know-maybe because i just find it so charming and incredible that Ayu's voice has evolved so much over the years. I personally loved it best live during 05-06 and best recorded 06-07.

Sigh--it's already 7:44 and i still have to add tags for this post. So I'll stop for now.

MyWay25

Burrrr...

Honestly--these New Years Resolutions are insanely difficult to keep.

...especially the now soompi one.

Although it's extremely educational and inspiring to go to school, do readings and write papers--it does tire me out. So soompi is like my daily "relaxing" routine. Nothing gets me out of my "funk" mood better than reading soompi.

Nowadays, i've stopped watching dramas---so at least i've kept my promise in that aspect.

STUFFED!!

I have two sandwiches consectutively and now i've never been more full in my life. I feel like i don't need to eat in another week!

So now I am going to do some work. I have the whole weekend planned out:

SATURDAY
-come up with possible LIT thesis
-finish reaading/noting Hume
-come up with possible K&R thesis
-K&R lecture 7 reading
-Quotations for LIT paper

SUNDAY
-K&R Outline/thesis finalize?
-finalize LIT thesis/outline?
-AST HW

Sigh---just writing that out made me all depressed....until later!

MyWay25

REVEAL...

Strangely enough--i am pretty addictive to Mariah Carey's h.a.t.e.u.

I know, i know... it's such a mainstream tune, and it's MC style post-breakdown. But i find this song really heartfelt. It's been a long long while since i liked anything she's done. I never found her lyrics impressive, so i wasn't even let down by the whole degrading "OMG, I CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT YOU!" theme she always has going on (Contrast to the "OMG, I'M SO HOT YOU CAN'T RESIST ME!" via "Obsessed")

Her airy vocals are pretty sweet, so not extensively edited. But then again, aren't most artists' vocal tracks butchered in the studio?

---Moving on..

Today, i had a hugeee brainwave while i was on the subway home. I have no idea why all my ideas seem to occur to me when i;m on the subway---but all i can say is: thank God I have to do it everyday!! At this rate, I'm sure to fill that 15pg monthly requirement i sat for myself!!

Of course, i can't divulge what those ideas are---but i am REALLY excited to get writing... Let's just say that so far, the latter half of the story is building very nicely.

Anyway, I'm off to do some reading and then I've got to transfer my ideas for BIOE onto my laptop...

MyWay25